Content warning: pet loss.
When 2025 turned into 2026, I never for a moment thought I would write this post. I thought we had more time with Charlie. Despite his senior designation, he remained active and energetic. And also quite bossy.
A week ago, I made the heartbreaking decision to let him go. He had been diagnosed with diabetes earlier in the spring. I thought I was doing a decent job of managing his illness, but as the summer wore on, it seemed like I would get one issue stabilized, only to have two or three more issues arise. Looking back on the year, it seemed like bit by bit his body had been giving out.
I had written roughly 1400 words about losing Charlie, but I’d rather write some words about life with him, because he was just that awesome.
Coming Home and Meeting His Big Brother
Charlie came to us in the summer of 2012, a few weeks after we had said good-bye to Miss Billie Holiday Kitty. Despite the fact that Simon would get crabby about other cats coming around, it was clear that he needed a buddy. I had adopted Simon from Island Cat Resources and Adoption, and it made sense to go back to their Petco location to talk to the rescue group president, since she knew Simon and would know which of their adoptable kitties would be a good match for his energy (he was 11 at the time, but still pretty spry). She walked me over to the enclosure that held the most adorable brown tabby I had ever seen. She was his foster mom and felt like he would be a great buddy for Simon. I slipped my fingers through the bars of the cage door and he rubbed his head against my hand. I think I felt his purr before I heard it, but he had a rumble that was as bold as his stripes!
His foster mom brought him home the following Saturday. I went against conventional wisdom and had Charlie and Simon meet each other straight away. Not surprisingly, Simon was rather crabby about the presence of this interloper, but Charlie immediately fell in love with his new big brother. Even though I smoothed things as best I could for Simon, it was clear that Charlie was going to win him over pretty quickly because, when he decided he loved you, he loved you with everything he had.
It took about 24 hours.
Not long after he came home, I was putting clean sheets back on the bed, a task that involved a game called, “Where’s Simon?” because he loved to hide under the fitted sheet, then the flat sheet, then the comforter. Charlie came into the bedroom to find out what the ruckus was about and I said, “Charlie, where’s Simon? Where is he?” Oh, the look on his face. He was genuinely concerned that I had somehow lost his beloved new brother. He ran around the apartment chirping for him. In the living room, “Mrrrp? Mrrrrrrpmrrrp?” To the kitchen, “Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrp?” Standing in front of the closet doors in the hallway, “Mrrrrp? Mrrrp?” Then, just as Charlie reappeared in the doorway, Simon grew bored of the game and popped out from under the covers. Charlie saw him and immediately jumped on the bed and put him in a bear hug.
I used to joke that Charlie wasn’t exactly Management Material because he worshipped his brother so much, he would do anything for Simon. It didn’t take long for Charlie to prove me wrong, though. On Halloween, Simon apparently had an accident while I was at work and had a slipped disc (which took us a few weeks to figure out because none of the issues he presented indicated a back injury) that required surgery. During his recovery at home, Simon had to be confined to a crate, which he hated. Simon yowled and yowled and threw massive tantrums in the crate. Whenever he could get into the room housing the crate, Charlie would lay quietly next to the crate, trying to help his brother calm down.
He would be instrumental in Simon’s care when he developed lymphoma a couple of years later. He never left his brother’s side. The day before we said good-bye to Simon, we were all sitting together on the bed. Suddenly, Charlie looked over at me with this incredibly sad look on his face as if he was saying, “Mama, we have to let him go.” I made the appointment with the vet for the next day.
Life With Clancy
I will always believe that Simon sent Clancy to us. I was so devastated from losing Simon, that I was hoping that Charlie would be okay as an only cat, at least for a few months. But within a few weeks, it became clear that he needed a buddy, especially since I was gone at work for so many hours a day. I first saw Clancy at Pet Food Express, when I was trying to restock the cat food but couldn’t even do that without falling apart at the register. ICRA had brought Clancy to show that day and I thought he was quite handsome, but being a blubbering mess I was in no condition to meet him.
So I was back at Petco the following week, having another conversation with the rescue president. I spent most of the afternoon in the cat room, cuddling nearly every kitty in the room. But I kept coming back to Clancy. I just knew he was meant to be part of our family.
I wish I could say that the introduction between Charlie and Clancy went as smooth as the introduction with Simon. Sadly, Charlie just wasn’t having it and he hissed and growled angrily at Clancy, whose only crime was not being Simon. I kept Clancy in the bedroom and we did a very slow re-introduction over the next several weeks. By Christmas, we had peace. They ended up becoming the best of buddies (even if Charlie did drive Clancy bonkers from time to time).
Charlie was cuddly on his own terms. He loved snuggling beside me or his brother, especially on cold nights. When he wasn’t being shy, he charmed everyone he met. He had the biggest crush on our neighbor in Alameda. B. would talk to Charlie through the front window and Charlie would roll and bump the window, totally flirting with B.
In fact, that was how I realized that he was a Highly Sensitive Personality (like me). I learned that I could not make a change to the environment without talking him through it, or else he would act like he had a critical medical issue (UTI, not eating, hiding, etc.) At first I would rush him to the vet, only for all the tests to come back normal. Then, I’d realize I had made a change that upset him,, such as:
- not opening the (sheer) curtains in the front window
- moving a box while I cleaned the floor and not putting it back right away
- placing a bowl of oranges on the kitchen counter where he liked to sit
- moving his Emotional Support Cardboard Whale (which we had brought with us to Raleigh from California because he was so attached to it) while I vacuumed and not moving it back
As a highly sensitive person myself, I was brought up believing that my sensitivity was a burden. But Charlie showed me how having a sensitive being in our lives is such a beautiful gift. In so many ways, I feel like he was brought into my life to teach me about myself and to heal some very old wounds.
The Right Choice, Not the Easy Choice
His little body had been through so much through the years: asthma, lymphoma, then the diabetes. I felt like I would just get one complication from his diabetes sorted out, then two or three other things would go wrong. Last week, I thought we had turned a corner again getting pancreatitis and dehydration under control and enjoy him acting like himself again, only to have the bottom drop out last Saturday. After a night at Veterinary Emergency Group (where I could have spent the night, except I needed to come home to care for Clancy), and several hours petting and loving on my sweet boy in his enclosure, I felt a sudden shift in the energy from Charlie and I started to cry. It felt like his spirit had pulled away. “You’re ready to go be with Simon, aren’t you, Angel Face?”
The attending vet had contacted Blue Pearl (the speciality hospital where Charlie was seen for his lymphoma) because she felt he would need specialty care sooner rather than later. But after feeling his energy shift like that, I realized my conversation with the vet would have to be unbearably painful and brutally honest. In the end, I couldn’t ask my sweet, shy, sensitive boy to put up with extended hospitalization, with no guarantee that he’d have any quality of life restored. I made the heartbreaking decision to let him go because, like he did with Simon, he told me it was time.
I was able to pick up Charlie’s remains (along with clay paw prints plus some ink paw prints and a nose print that completely took me out), so now he is home and resting next to his beloved Simon. And Clancy and I are learning to navigate life without our Boss.
Gratitude…and a Request
First, I am so grateful for all of our friends and family who have loved and supported my Boys from near and far over the years.
I am also incredibly grateful for the care Charlie received from his regular doctors at Park Centre Animal Hospital in Alameda, Cozy Cat Veterinary Hospital in Raleigh, the cancer specialists at Blue Pearl, and the team at VEG. I’m also incredibly grateful that we have Trupanion* insurance. Although they don’t cover exams, they covered about $4400 of the nearly $6k emergency vet cost.
That leaves us with a big cost that still needs to be covered—funds that were going to be used for the enucleation surgery that Clancy needs for his eye (which is why we currently have a demanding regimen of 8 eye drops every day).
I’ve never had a paid tier for any of my blogs/newsletters for the simple reason that this is not the way I want to create/build a community around my work.
If you are so inclined (and able), any donation you make to my Buy Me A Coffee/Help Pay Our Vet Bills fund will go toward our vet cost. Anything extra is earmarked for veterinary care funds and charities to help other pet parents afford vet care, because a vet bill should not keep a pet parent from getting care for their furbaby.
*The Trupanion is a referral link. I may get a little goodie if you sign up from my link.
