05 November, 2008
Oakland's Finest
Officer Art Michel gives the Oakland Police yet another black eye (Warning: language used by the officer is NSFW and certainly not safe for the school environment he works in):
Thankfully, cooler heads prevail at the DA's office and reporter Jane Tyska will not be charged for being nearly run over by Officer Michel's car. No word yet on whether Michel will face any discipline. At the very least he should be suspended without pay for that disgraceful incident. He ought to be taken off of the school security detail altogether. I certainly would not be comfortable if I was a parent of a child in the Oakland schools, knowing that a bully like that was in charge of my child's security.
Labels: bullies suck, in the news, JesusBloodyChrist
~~ victoria on 9:30 PM ~~ 0 comments
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29 September, 2008
Quote of the Day
From this AP story (bold mine):
"How could this have happened? Is there such a disconnect on Capitol Hill? This becomes a problem because Wall Street is very uncomfortable with uncertainty," said Gordon Charlop, managing director with Rosenblatt Securities. "The bailout not going through sends a signal that Congress isn't willing to do their part."
Wha-wha-WHAT? Look, pumpkin, you and your lot are gamblers. The finance industry took a HUGE gamble on very shaky mortgages and guess what? Y'all lost! Big! Do you really expect the American people to believe, for even a nanosecond, that, had your gamble continued to pay off, that money would be put to the good of the American people? Because the last time I checked, the banking and finance industry were lobbying congress pretty hard to make it damn-near impossible for the average American to file for bankruptcy and you've fought regulation tooth and nail (both endeavors costing, no doubt, millions of dollars). Bank charges for the average customer are outrageously exorbitant and financial institutions are allowed to play shell games with people's money so that they incur hundreds, and sometimes thousands of dollars in bank charges--and they've done that with impunity. And yet, you damn consumers as "irresponsible".
I'll agree with you that there is--and has been--a disconnect on Capitol Hill, but only in that the Representatives have consistently failed the very people who voted to put them in office in favor of industry lobbyists who shower Congressional Representatives with gifts for doing their bidding. Every time the opportunity to help Americans in financial difficulty has arisen, the banking and finance industry rebelled and insisted that the free market is the only solution to the problem. "Those people were irresponsible enough with their money that they're in financial trouble: Let 'em twist in the wind," y'all said. "They should have known better."
But now...NOW you've decided that socialism is a Good Thing? You've Free Marketed yourselves into a deep, deep hole and now you want me and my fellow Americans--too many of whom have to decide between paying the mortgage/rent or buying food or gas or paying the electric bill--to bail your stupid, irresponsible, overpaid asses out?
Oh HELL no!
(p.s. I'd like to give props to my Representative, Pete Stark, who voted No on the bail out. When the Revolution comes, he'll be spared.)
Labels: in the news, ITMFA, JesusBloodyChrist, politics, ranting
~~ victoria on 2:22 PM ~~ 0 comments
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23 September, 2008
In Case You Weren't Quite Sure
We live in a fascist police state. (Article quoted text in italics.)
Oh hang on, it gets BETTER:
So don't even think of coming into the United States and expecting your civil liberties to come through customs unscathed if you look anything OTHER than a White Christian or if you've traveled to a country full of ZOMG!!!1!@!! Brown Heathens!
These sweet little fascist policies were first enacted by (big surprise!) the Reagan administration in 1986 after US citizens complained of being subjected to search and seizure when they returned from Nicaragua. Yet even the original Reagan-era policies (and the revised version from the Clinton administration in 2000) required customs agents to have reasonable grounds for suspicion before seizing and reviewing documents.
You know, I like to try to be helpful whenever I can. So if US Customs (and, by extension, the Bush regime) didn't get the earlier memo (or it got misfiled) and they really want to probe MY thoughts, this one's for them:
Labels: in the news, ITMFA, JesusBloodyChrist, politics
~~ victoria on 8:24 PM ~~ 0 comments
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22 September, 2008
Tough AND Conditional Love
You know, there is the ever-so-slight chance that I might possibly consider going along with the $700 billion bailout (I refuse to call it a "rescue") of the financial industry with these conditions (just for a start; I'm sure I'll have more):
* That there is SOME oversight over how this bailout money is allocated (let's call this "No, Mr. CEO, You Do Not Get Rewarded With A Blank Check For Fucking Up");
* To help pay for this bailout, the executives of these financial institutions who got rich off of the subprime mortgage scams must get taxed at a rate of 90% on their salaries, bonuses and any stock they sold for a profit while their institutions traded in these subprime mortgages (let's call this "You Sailed The Ship Into The Storm, Now Buy Your Own Damn Pail");
* If these executives don't have the money to pay their taxes on their ill-gotten booty, they get to spend a year in prison for every million dollars they personally profited from trading in subprime mortgages. (let's call this "Actions Have Consequences, Bitchez");
* Two words: Credit Counseling. These financial institutions don't get one goddamned dime until they go through credit counseling. (While we're at it, we don't release a stinkin' penny until everyone in this administration AND in congress goes through credit counseling, too.) Let's make it as difficult for them to be released from their debts as they've made it for consumers. (We can call this one "Walk A Mile In My Shoes Then Give Them Back Because I Have To Sell Them So I Can Buy Groceries This Week".)
Like I said, this is only the beginning of my list of things I need to see in that three-page "plan" before I will even think of supporting a bailout of the financial industry. A lot of tequila might loosen me up a bit on this, too.
What's on your list?
Labels: ITMFA, JesusBloodyChrist, personal responsibility, politics, ranting
~~ victoria on 8:29 PM ~~ 0 comments
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15 August, 2008
Wishful
I wish I could chalk the events of this shitty week up to Mercury being in retrograde. But I'm pretty sure it's not.
I wish that my suffering through such a shitty week meant that my friends didn't have to as well. But quite a few of them have.
I wish that this shitty week will soon be forgotten. But there are many valuable lessons that should be taken from it.
I wish I could just collapse in bed with Simon snuggled up next to me and take a long night's nap. But...well, I think I CAN make that wish come true.
Labels: grace, JesusBloodyChrist
~~ victoria on 10:34 PM ~~ 1 comments
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24 January, 2008
The One Where It Could Have Been A Lot Worse
On Monday, I finished off the last two tickets from my 2-week book of ferry tickets, which meant that I had to queue up to buy more tickets Tuesday morning. I saw the line and groaned, silently chastising myself for not taking advantage of the holiday on Monday when the ferry wasn't crowded.
So I finally get up to the register and ask for my usual book of 20 tickets. The deck hand swipes the card. Waits. Nothing. He asks for the card again and gives it another go. Nada. Tries again. We were just at the edge of the Estuary by then so it seemed obvious that we were out of phone signal range but we press on and he swipes it again. Noooooot quite. Finally, fifth try's a charm and out comes the receipt. I sign one copy and stuff the other one in my wallet, take my book of tickets and head back to the upper deck where one of my fellow commuters was watching the rest of my stuff. We were approaching the Bay Bridge, so there wasn't any point in getting comfortable.
Fast forward to around 10:30 p.m. Tuesday evening. I had deposited my medical reimbursement and was going to make a payment on my credit card and nearly swallowed my eyebrows when I looked at my checking account activity and saw FIVE pending charges from Blue and Gold Fleet. For $85 each. I phoned the "customer service" number and, unsurprisingly, spoke to someone who was clearly stationed overseas. I explained what had happened and that only ONE of the charges should count and I could give her the receipt number and all of the other codes on it but please make the others go away, or at least put them on ice until I can sort it out with Blue and Gold. Her solution? Since we couldn't have a conference call with Blue and Gold (being it was 11:00 p.m. at that point), we could just let all five charges go through and file a dispute. In the meantime, $340 of my money is unavailable to me. You can bet if I had deposited a check for $340, they'd put a hold on THAT until the spirit moved them to release the funds to me, but they won't put a hold on $340 of charges that I'm already disputing.
**blink**
**blink**
wanting to say "Oh hai, I have something for you! Here's a big steaming pile of I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO, just for You!"
actually saying "I'm hanging up now."
Wednesday morning, as I waited for the Encinal, I phoned the office at Blue and Gold. I got a really nice gentleman called Aidan on the line and he took down all of the particulars and assured me he'd get the right person to look into it for me. Later in the morning Dolores called and said that their merchant bank only found the one charge to my card. She had me fax over a copy of my transaction history showing all of the pending charges and the receipt. She phoned me later in the afternoon and assured me that there really was only the one charge to my card (note to self: NEVER use the debit card for this stuff! Srsly!) and that the merchant bank said the other four pending charges should be gone by that evening, or the next morning at the latest. I thanked Dolores profusely for all of her help and patience.
I checked my account when I got home from work. The one legitimate charge had gone through but the four pending ones were still there. I sighed and went to bed. At lunchtime today I checked again. They were still there. I called the CS number and navigated my way until I could get to an operator. Except, a couple of steps before I could get to a live person, I was held hostage while they played a frackin' ADVERTISEMENT for their wonderous CD savings products, forcing me to either press 1 to learn more or 2 to continue with my business. I was about 16 different kinds of NOT HAPPY by the time I was allowed to speak to an actual person. I explained that I had talked to the very wonderful people at Blue and Gold and that the one charge that went with my receipt had been processed and that the other ones were not legitimate and their merchant bank said they should have disappeared from my account by now. This person demanded authorization codes for the four bad transactions. And if I wasn't able to get them for her right away? The remaining four charges would post to my account. So, not only are they currently holding $340 of MY money in limbo, they'll just hand it over to Blue and Gold, even though they don't have any authorization codes for THOSE transactions (and they never will because, according to the merchant bank they don't bloody exist!).
I phoned Dolores again and may the blessings of Ceiling Cat be upon her because she said she and her supervisor would look into it for me. A short time later, Arlene from Blue and Gold phoned and said she had talked to a very helpful person named Stacy at my banking institution and that if I go look at my account now all of the charges would be gone. And LO! They were! Arlene apologized profusely for all of the trouble but I kept telling her I was just so grateful that they were so helpful and patient helping me get this resolved. They certainly were more helpful than anyone I got in touch with at my bank. Arlene said they were implementing a new procedure for processing cards, based on this experience.
I was damn lucky. I had received a holiday bonus and I hadn't burned through it so, if I had to, I could have covered any outstanding payments (and don't think it hadn't crossed my mind that the bank stood to gain a lot in overdraft fees if I hadn't been able to cover the payments). A year or two ago, I wouldn't have been so fortunate.
So, once again, Blue and Gold staff rock! Everyone from the office staff to the captains to the deck hands are so friendly and customer-focused that I can't imagine commuting any other way.
Labels: ferry commuting, gah, gratitude, JesusBloodyChrist
~~ victoria on 10:26 PM ~~ 0 comments
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13 November, 2007
Not All Internet Predators Are Child Molesters
Melissa at Shakesville posted a story that...I don't know that heartbreaking even begins to describe it. Soul sucking comes closer to the mark.
So unfathomably soul sucking is this story that I keep writing paragraphs about it and then deleting them because I just cannot make any sense at all out of what happened to Megan Mier and her family. And I find I'm really having difficulty dealing with my ANGER over the vile parents that concocted this unbelievably vicious "joke". And, yeah, a lot of this is residual anger at having been teased throughout my childhood and still more of it is for the stupid, mean sniping I dished out as well. But the thing is, I was a CHILD when I did that and I was teased by CHILDREN. The people who set up the fake MySpace page for "Josh Evans" were the parents of a girl who used to be friends with Megan. These weren't a gaggle of middle-school Heathers!
And, just to pour acid in the wound, these vicious, vile sociopaths, who certainly knew how their actions contributed to Megan's death, invited her family to celebrate their own daughter's birthday and the father's birthday and asked them to store a foosball table for them for Christmas. And then, once their role in the fake Josh Evans page was revealed, they had the unmitigated gall to phone the police when the Miers--quite understandably--turned that foosball table into firewood! Because, bullies? That's how they roll.
To repeat my comment in the comment thread at Shakesville, these sociopaths should 1) never have access to the internet, ever again and 2) should not be allowed (unsupervised) contact with anyone under the age of 18. Those would be at least two small steps toward justice for Megan Mier.
Now, I need to go find a pillow and scream into it.
Labels: in the news, JesusBloodyChrist, personal responsibility
~~ victoria on 7:26 AM ~~ 0 comments
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01 November, 2007
Good Fucking Riddance to October!
October was just a lousy, goddamned month. There were some bright, wonderful spots (i.e. any moment spent with my friends), but there has been so much stress piled on me from so many directions (including a random line of questioning from Kaiser over blood/urine tests that I took nearly a month ago where they won't tell me what the problem might be but keep calling to ask me about this and that and I'm really freaking out right about now!) that now it takes every ounce of discipline I have to get out of bed.
And then, just to flip its evil middle finger one last time, a teenage girl was murdered IN MY FRONT YARD, more or less. A 15-year-old child, shot to death during a brazen robbery IN A FUCKING PLAYGROUND. I am absolutely sick about this. It's Alameda's first homicide this year, but my neighbourhood is particularly prone to rather violent, armed robberies.
Anyway, to October, I say "fuck right off!" I'm hoping intending to start fresh now that it's November.
Labels: gah, JesusBloodyChrist, Why it is
~~ victoria on 10:20 AM ~~ 0 comments
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07 October, 2007
Oh Goody! She's On About Her Damn Back Again!
(Hey friends, this is a long post and I don't know why I'm compelled to post the whole story but I am. Read it if you want, but if you don't want the whole saga, then I invite you to skip down to today's Simon Sunday post. K'thxbye!)
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I really thought I'd have nothing new to post about my back problems after last weekend. I went for another acupuncture treatment last Tuesday and felt better than I had in several weeks.
And then...
I wake up Wednesday morning. The back/hip/leg is stiff and a little sore, but that's been The New Normal so I didn't worry too much about it, even if it was disappointing because I had felt so much better before I went to bed. I went through the morning ablutions, gave the cats some breakfast and went into the bedroom to finish my Chinese herb tea and get dressed while Billie ate her breakfast on my bed. I bent down to put my underwear on when something went horribly, horribly wrong. I don't know if a disc slipped or what exactly happened: All I know is that I was suddenly in the most horrific pain I have ever experienced in my life and I couldn't walk. I was trying so hard not to panic but it was a full-speed freight train coming right at me. I tried to stretch gently and nearly collapsed: I tried to walk it off but I could hardly move. I flopped myself onto the bed thinking that maybe if I just rested it for a few minutes it would be okay and I could get dressed and take the later boat in to work (how fucking sick is that?).
If I moved, even a hair's width, my right side shrieked in agony. I don't know how I did it, but I got up and, with the aid of my Swiffer broom stick (that I had been using as a cane), grabbed an old dress out of the closet and threw it over me, got to the back door and unlocked it so my friend S could get in, put the rest of Simon's breakfast in his dish and got my mobile phone before collapsing on the bed and, very gingerly and painfully, slithering under the covers. I left messages with the acupuncturist (her office was closed Wednesday but I didn't realize that at first) and the receptionist at my office (she said she never got my message, though I distinctly remember hearing her voice mail greeting and leaving a very gasping, panic-stricken message). I shivered under the covers for another hour or two before calling S (got her voice mail) and G (who, thank my stars, picked up). G came over (she has a spare key) and helped me with the cats and brought me water, made sure I was alright and told me to call if I needed a ride to the doctor or anything.
My nerves and muscles in right leg were so ground up that any trip to the bathroom or to the kitchen to get the ice pack left me shaking violently by the time I got back to my bed and it would take me several minutes of flopping (there was no strength in the leg to hold me up to even sit on the bed) slithering, moaning and screaming before I was under the covers again. Simon stayed next to me in bed: Billie stayed in the living room, but I could hear her pitter-pattering feet in the hallway and occasionally she'd meow softly until I answered her. I made an appointment at Kaiser for Thursday afternoon. I spoke to the acupuncturist: She thought she might try to come to my apartment to give me a treatment but she couldn't (not that I could have got to the door to let her in, anyway). She thought I should get a chiropractic adjustment. On one of my herculean efforts to get to the bathroom and back, I detoured to my desk for the blue post-it note pad with the name and phone number of S's chiropractor. I checked in at the office (that's when I was told that the receptionist didn't get my voice mail) and said I was done for the next couple of days, probably the rest of the week but that I'd keep checking in. At that point I was exhausted and my mobile phone battery was running low. I phoned G's a while later and spoke to C who said he or G would stop by in the evening. I managed to find a "least uncomfortable" position and slept fitfully for a couple of hours.
C came over and brought me my ice pack, mobile phone charger and hooked up my old iBook and the Airport Base station so I could at least check in online and then served the cats' food. I think he was on his way to something else and I felt bad that I kept him for so long. I got hold of S a couple of hours later and she said she would be over in the morning (she lives across the back yard from me) to help with the cats and would take me to Kaiser. I hardly slept at all and was exhausted when I had to get up to use the bathroom in the morning. I had it in my head that I HAD to feed the furkids myself so I tried to, though it ended up with me in tears, shaking violently and barely making it back to bed. S came over about an hour later and got the cats fresh water, scooped the litter box (I hated, but hated asking G and S to do that chore for me!) and brought me more water and the bottle of Rescue Remedy she found by the kitchen sink. She said she'd be back in a few hours to take me to my Dr. appointment at Kaiser. I rested as long as I could and I made an appointment with her chiropractor for Friday morning.
I got up again to try to get myself together for the appointment, my wallet, check book, glasses, mobile phone, etc. I collapsed on the bed again for another hour or so before I heard S's footsteps in the back garden. SHIT! I realized I still didn't have underwear on! S came in and I told her my dilemma. She said she needed to pull the car around and she'd get me in a few minutes. So I took out a pair that looked the least challenging to get on and fumbled around--in a great deal of pain--getting them on after about the fifth try. When I stood up, I realized I had put them on wrong. At that point I really didn't give a shit anymore. I pulled my messy matted hair back, put my glasses on and hobbled out front to wait for S. She parked along the street and I very slowly slid into her car but could not reach over to close the door. S needed to run back up to her place for her ID which gave me time by myself to try to settle into the seat. I so did not want to moan and groan the whole trip so I gripped the handle over the door and did deep breathing exercises while I waited for her to return. Once we were underway, she turned on the seat warmer. I don't know why or how, but somehow between the great lumbar support in Subarus and the seat warmer, my back and hip eased and I was actually able to walk (well, limp) through the parking lot and across the street to the medical building.
I had avoided going to Kaiser for the back problems because all I expected was I'd get a cursory look-over, answer a couple of questions and be sent home with a bottle of pills. I underestimated them. After the doctor showed up 15 minutes late (by which time I was in great pain again) I got a cursory look-over, answered a couple of questions, got sent to the lab for a blood test and urine test (she thought, because I had a slight fever, I might have a bladder infection--in fact the blood test she ordered looks like one that is ordered to look at kidney function too--Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot???) and sent me home with THREE bottles of pills (Vicodin, which did nothing, Flexeril, which actually did help but really made me drowsy, and prescription ibuprofen). Whoop-dee-flippin'-doo!
S brought me home and I took a couple of Vicodin which, as I said, did nothing at all. I checked in at the office but had to cut my call short because I was getting very uncomfortable again. I took a Flexeril and went back to bed. The muscle relaxer actually eased the discomfort and I managed to sleep for a couple of hours before getting up to feed the cats. Yes, I was able to actually get up and feed my cats! By myself! (Simon was probably the most relieved by this as he was freaked out by all of the people he didn't know coming into his house and making him hide under the bed.) I lay on the bed while Billie ate and checked in on my regular Web sites for a while. I decided what I really needed was sleep and took another Flexeril before going to bed (at 7:00 pm!). I woke up around 3:00 a.m. feeling sore again, so I got up and took one last Flexeril so I could get some rest. The pill worked, but Simon decided to be Freaky Boy and get into everything knowing there wasn't much I could do to stop him. I reached over and got the blue post-it note pad and the pen I had put on my bed stand and made a shopping list for when S took me to the chiropractor: a heating pad and can of compressed air (the sound stops Simon in his tracks).
I was feeling sore and icky when I got up but I was absolutely determined to not take any more medication before I saw the chiropractor. S came to collect me (I not only had underwear on, but it was on the right way this time! Thank You, Flexeril!) and we were off. The ass-warming seats worked their magic again on the way to the chiropractor, though I had a bit of difficulty hobbling in. The chiropractor visit was COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from the Kaiser visit. Oh My Stars! She explained a little bit about the way the spine and nervous system work together, then, explaining the function of every set of nerves along the spine, took a detailed health history. Then we went back for x-rays (which Kaiser did NOT do). She analyzed the images and gave me a treatment. Her specialty is the NUCCA technique, which isn't the snappy/cracky/poppy adjustment we tend to associate with chiropractors. NUCCA concentrates on the top vertebrae where the base of the skull meets the spinal column. Essentially, it's getting my head on straight! As I lay there while she applied pressure below/behind my ear, I was a bit skeptical. But I did feel a little better afterward, I had to admit. She took a second set of x-rays to see if the adjustment realigned the Atlas area but we didn't have time to look at them before her next appointment. I certainly wasn't up dancing a polka, but I was feeling a bit better. I made an appointment for Saturday and bought S lunch to thank her for helping me.
I was feeling a little achy in the evening, so I took one of the prescription ibuprofen before I went to bed. Unlike the Vicodin, these actually seemed to smooth the edge off of the pain (with a little help from the heating pad). I was a little bummed about that because I really wanted to detox all of the drugs out of my system, but I also needed to rest. As I lay in bed trying to relax myself to go to sleep, I realized that I had stopped using the old Swiffer broom stick to prop me up. Simon curled up next to me and sighed.
Saturday morning I felt better than I have in a month! I was still stiff and kind of sore, especially in the hip and along the back of my leg, but I felt like I might be able to do a bit more than just function. I got over to Rockridge way early for my appointment with the chiropractor (aw heck, let's just call her Dr. Doyle), so I took a walk around the block. My hip and leg were getting more sore so I stopped in at the store/coffee house next door and got an iced jasmine tea. The guy at the counter referred to Dr. Doyle as the "neighbourhood miracle worker" and said that a few times a year she'll charge patients half-price for treatments and then donate all her proceeds for the day to a charity like breast cancer research, which made me like her even more. I had time so I took another walk around the block, simply because I could (painful thought it was). I went in for my appointment and noticed she was a few minutes behind schedule which is no problem because her regular appointments are short. As she finished with the guy before me, the guy scheduled after me shuffled in. He looked like he was really uncomfortable so I offered to let him switch with me, which he thanked me for but declined. Dr. Doyle and I talked about the second set of x-rays, which showed that I was slightly back in alignment and then she measured my hip and leg alignment and noted that they were off again. She did the adjustment and as we were settling the bill, I saw her fliers for an event later in the month where new patients pay 1/2 price if they bring in groceries to help feed the poor. So, if you're in the East Bay and are looking for a chiropractor without the violent snap and crackle of other chiropractors, let me know and I'll send you the flyer.
Anyway, I felt even better after the treatment, good enough to toodle through Trader Joe's for a few things. I needed to take an ibuprofen this morning and the hip and leg still get tired pretty quickly, but I am amazed that I'm able to sit nearly pain-free and stand up without a painful "hitch" and can do things more easily like clean litter boxes and vacuum the floor. I don't feel so good about having spent over $800 on getting my back fixed, but am thankful that most of that will be reimbursed. I'm thankful to my Internet Friends who, even if they couldn't come over to help (being across the country or in Europe and all that), sent me loads of good wishes and healing vibes. I am also thankful beyond description for friends like S, G & C, who have now seen me at my most crippled and helpless; a state I never, EVER wanted anyone to ever have to see me in. They are my heroes. I do wonder, sometimes, if I'll ever be able to stand up and not have to think about standing up. Or leaning down. Or walking.
And now I really, really, truly hope that this is the LAST post about my damn back!
Labels: back pain, Billie, friendship, furkids, gratitude, JesusBloodyChrist, Simon
~~ victoria on 6:49 PM ~~ 1 comments
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15 September, 2007
The One Where It Takes Me Ten Minutes Just To Put My Underwear On
Looking around my cubicle Tuesday, I was growing dismayed with the somewhat chaotic state of the folders that I had inherited. So, attempting to bring order to my workspace, I started sorting and organizing boxes and buckets of files. At one point I felt a slight twinge in my lower back but it wasn't much and, though I took it easy walking back to the Ferry Building, I mostly forgot all about it. I came home and fed the cats: I stayed in the bedroom with Billie and had a quick lie down while she ate her supper. Everything was just dandy until I tried to get up. Muscles spasmed, a nerve became pinched and I suddenly could only wash my hands and brush my teeth by kneeling in front of the bathroom sink.
(Those were the Good Old Days...)
I woke up in pain later that night and had trouble going back to sleep. Around 4:30 a.m. Simon finally came and snuggled around my head, purring. That relaxed me enough that I finally slept. I "snoozed" the alarm and went in to work an hour late (I would have called in sick but had a meeting and, well, it's a week where I really had to be at the office). I asked a co-worker who teaches yoga what asanas I might try to unlink my back and she suggested a couple of easier, more gentle ones to try. I hobbled my way through work, modifying my cubicle so that I could type and write standing up (sitting was rather out of the question at that point). I came home that night and realized that I had forgotten to stop and pick up ibuprofen. I figured, though, that between the yoga and relaxation and icing my back, I should be all right. After all, that's worked in the past and these incidents always started clearing up after a day or so.
A little after 2:00 a.m. Thursday morning I awoke to a back that was shrieking with agony. I tried the yoga asanas. I tried ice. I tried massaging. Nothing helped. At 3:15 a.m. I was finally so desperate that I put my green polar fleece jacket on over my oversized pink flower pyjama bottoms, put on my glasses and grabbed my keys and went to the 24-hour Wallgreens for some ibuprofen. As I got to my corner, I seriously considered heading over to the ER, hoping that maybe I could get a prescription for a muscle relaxer (which I had never taken in my life). I decided that Wallgreens was closer and faster and, since I hate medicating and rarely do it anyway, a small handful of ibuprofen might take the edge off of the pain enough that I'd be able to function. Then, as I turned onto Otis, an evil thought crept in about how nice it must be for those people who have boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses who would go to Wallgreens for them. I've worked hard to not indulge myself in such pity parties lately, but this one had the positive effect of getting my mind off of how fucking much my back was hurting. I pulled into the lot, shuffled inside the store and got two bottles of Wall-uprofen (they had a buy one get one free sale), a bottle of Vitamin Water and, miraculously, remembered to pick up a pack of toilet paper (I had been forgetting to do that for almost a week). I stifled a scream as I got back into the car (have you ever tried getting in and out of a car with mostly cloth seats?), opened the Vitamin Water, opened one of the bottles of ibuprofen and took four of them before starting the car.
Unable to sleep and somewhat delirious, I took this photo and, because there was nothing better to do, posted it on my Flickr stream:
(My thanks to those who posted kind comments on the photo, BTW...)
The pills did take the edge off enough that I was able to lie down for a little while before the alarm went off, though I never did go back to sleep. By the time I made it to work, I was exhausted and still in incredible pain. My game plan was to the input only for the stuff that HAD to be in by Friday and then take the next ferry back to Alameda. Well, it went slowly and I only ended up leaving an hour early. Actually, I had planned all week to be on the 4:10 ferry on Thursday because I was going to SFlickr that night. However, considering I hadn't slept since 2:00 a.m. and the state of my back, there was no way I was in any shape to drive across the bridge and socialize. I was bitterly disappointed at missing the SFlickr meet up; the one thing I had been looking forward to all week...I still want to cry, I'm so upset about that.
Between the ibuprofen and a rearrangement of my body pillow (doubled over and placed under my knees so I slept only on my back), I managed to get a full night's sleep. Friday it was back to the office to finalize the data I had put in and then start on the less time-critical stuff. My back was actually quite a bit worse, but at least I had slept so I managed the best I could. Every move hurt. It was all I could do to shower and get dressed. Have you ever tried getting dressed WHEN YOU CAN'T FUCKING BEND IN ANY DIRECTION? I nearly abandoned the underwear and went commando. Interestingly enough, the only thing that seems to not bother my back is walking, though it's much slower going lately and I've taken nearly everything out of my backpack to lighten the load.
And then there's the cats. Mind you, they've been very good at trying to nurse me back to health. Simon is constantly giving me shoulder rubs and he'll actually lie on my stomach to help straighten out my spine. Billie gives me leg rubs for encouragement. But everything I have to do to care for them requires bending, squatting, and crawling around on the floor. Friday morning I dropped Billie's dish, scattering a few kibbles outside of it and eliciting a dirty look from her. She ate her food anyway, then promptly horked it all back up. Which meant being on the floor to clean up that mess. I'm always spilling their water, trying to replace the water dish and am always begging Simon to move out of the way so I can pour his kibble into his dish. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON DEALING WITH THE LITTER BOXES!
So that brings us to now, nearly 10:00 p.m. Saturday night. I'm still in an unbelievable amount of pain: I managed to write this post because I found one particular way to position myself in the chair where I'm not in constant shrieking agony and I ain't moving unless I absolutely have to. I still have trouble showering and dressing. This afternoon, after my shower, I stood in the doorway to my bedroom, holding my underwear and sobbing because I had spent ten minutes trying to get them on and could not. Once I was finally "dressed", I ended up watching most of Bread and Tulips (a very sweet Italian movie) standing up because I couldn't find any way to sit that wasn't excruciating. This is the closest I've come to not being able to take care of myself and it is terrifying and depressing all at the same time (which probably isn't going to help me in recovering from this).
At this point, I'm going to see if there's any way I can see my acupuncturist or find a chiropractor that uses ultrasound therapy (that used to help). But I'm also hoping that it will respond to a couple of days of rest. I'm not sure I can take much more of this. Physically, I'm beyond my breaking point, and emotionally...I'm pretty damn close.
Labels: back pain, cats, domesticity, furkids, gah, JesusBloodyChrist
~~ victoria on 10:17 PM ~~ 0 comments
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19 July, 2007
King George: All Your Asset Belong To Us
King George has issued a new Executive Order that makes my blood run cold.
Nightshift, over at Shakesville writes a superb analysis of this chilling order, cutting through the legalese:
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Under this order, the Executive Branch can ’starve out’ a person by completely freezing their assets, without trial, without the need to present evidence, and without appeal. The Treasury Secretary has sole discretion to determine who is in violation of this order, in ‘consultation’ with the Secretary of Defense and the Secretary of State. That last part is verbiage; Treasury has the power per this order. Even better, the Secretary of Treasury has the explicit authority to delegate this decision to any flunky or flunkies of his choice per Sec. 6. This order applies to all persons within the United States. If Treasury declares that a person is a ‘SIGNIFICANT RISK’ to commit violence in Iraq, or a ‘SIGNIFICANT RISK’ to support violence in Iraq in any way, or to have assisted in any way a person who is a ‘SIGNIFICANT RISK’ to do so, all their assets are to be immediately frozen.
It is a further violation of the order to make a donation to such a person whose assets have been frozen. (I was being literal when I said ’starve’ them. Such a person would have no legal means of acquiring food, clothing, or shelter. They couldn’t buy it with frozen assets, nor accept it as a gift, and stealing is already illegal.) [See here for the statute on which Bush relies to issue this order.]
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I recommend you go read Nightshift's post and the comment thread, unless you're already nearly suicidally-depressed by this clusterfuck of a government (this might set you right over the edge).
Let me emphasize a very important point here: THERE IS NO DUE PROCESS! Let's say King George or one of his court declares CodePink, by virtue of opposing the war on Iraq, threatens "the peace and stability of Iraq". All of CodePink's assets can be frozen, but it doesn't stop there. King George and the US Treasury can also freeze the assets of Medea Benjamin, co-founder of CodePink. King George and the US Treasury can go through the list of donors and freeze their assets. Let's say a friend of mine has donated to CodePink and has had his or her assets frozen and has lost his/her home and cannot buy anything to eat. I could have MY assets frozen if I gave them food or a gift card to a clothing store. Let me repeat: THERE IS NO DUE PROCESS! King George does NOT have to present evidence that CodePink (or I) are actually committing any acts that undermine the peace and stability of Iraq.
It occurs to me that, if King George and his court are able to access these frozen assets, it's a hell of a scam to continue to fund their war machine.
(UPDATE: Nightshift, in the comments thread at Shakesville, says that in theory, they cannot access the frozen assets to fund their war machine or anything else. But in reality, I don't put anything past these criminals.)
Confidential to Congress: Impeach. Them. NOW!
Labels: ITMFA, JesusBloodyChrist
~~ victoria on 8:02 PM ~~ 0 comments
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