27 June, 2006
Never in my life have I been more happy to pay my fare than I was this afternoon! As the Peralta eased into the Oakland Estuary, I carefully tore my ticket from the book and smoothed it out before I handed it to the deck hand on my way off of the boat. I had nearly forgot what it was like to be able to get a seat and not have people elbowing me or blasting their conversations in my ear or having to continually dodge children racing around the boat. (I think the deck hands finally gave up telling the parents to make their kids walk instead of run.)
Talking to my fellow passengers, I realized it wasn't just me being an impatient bitch (this time). All of the "regulars" that I talked to were so happy to pay their fare and not have to deal with the, ahem, "bargain hunters". Even the deck hands seemed relieved and extra-smiley today.
Technorati Tags: San Francisco Life
26 June, 2006
Over the weekend there was a serious rupture in one of the online social groups I belong(ed) to. It got ugly, and it got ugly really quick. It involved three people that I consider my friends in the group and the hurtful, hateful words that flew around were very upsetting to me. Shortly after the administrator friend banned my other two friends, I posted my feelings to the group. I felt I needed a day or so to sort out how I could support *all* of my friends but not get involved in the unfolding drama that had nothing to do with me (other than my friends were fighting and I was upset). I no longer have access to my original post(s), but the gist of what I said is that I was upset by what had transpired and needed to sort all of it out in my heart. I also said that no one should take my silence as support for one person over another. In the interest of full-disclosure, I went to a photo that seemed to be a "meeting place" for one of my banned friends and posted the message there as well.
The banned friends were very supportive of my needing to step back from the situation. The administrator friend, however, banned me from the group. I got no message from her saying I was being banned or why (even though the why is rather self-evident, simple decorum would dictate a couple of sentences of explanation, or at the very least a "fuck off and die").
Then, just to drive the point home, the administrator friend deleted the testimonial I had written for her a couple of weeks ago and she withdrew the one she had written for me. Now, in spite of everything that had happened, I had absolutely NO intention of withdrawing the testimonial I had written for her because I actually meant every word I said. However, I'm left to infer that she didn't mean a word of what she said in her testimonial about me and that she must have just written it out of a sense of obligation. Which is a real bummer because I hate, hate, HATE insincerity and am sick to death of people misrepresenting their friendship toward me.
Given the way everything shook out over the last few days, I can't say I'm terribly surprised. But I am disappointed. Very disappointed.
Technorati Tags: broken heart
25 June, 2006
Tomorrow's another Spare the Air day. The last two WORK days of dealing with freeloading day-trippers and shoppers had left me feeling like this "screamer" guy I saw on the dock Friday afternoon.
That said, I do see the value of encouraging people to take public transportation and I take no delight in the fact that as of tomorrow's commute, the budget for free Spare the Air day rides is exhausted. But looking around the ferry Thursday and Friday afternoons, I don't see them getting a significant uptick in ridership. Unless it happened to also be "Bring Your Kids to Work" day AND "Leave Early And Spend An Afternoon Shopping" day as well, these were not what I'd call regular commuters.
I also question the wisdom of making tomorrow a Spare the Air day, when it's going to be significantly cooler than it was last week. Do the weather forecasters predict no more hot weather this summer? Or does their fiscal year end in June/July (in which case they might have a new budget for Spare the Air days later this summer)? (And everyone who's ever worked in government knows, if you have $1 budgeted for something, you damn well spend that $1, or you don't get it next year.)
**shrug** Whatever. I'll be sure to wear the comfortable shoes tomorrow.
24 June, 2006
He's stalking a rock
Originally uploaded by Planet Vicster.
Gotta love this furkid's imagination! Unfortunately, I didn't have the camera out when he wrestled with the rock and tried to disembowel it.
When I think of the basket overflowing with actual CAT TOYS that is being neglected in the corner of the living room...**sigh**
Technorati Tags: Simon Sunday
22 June, 2006
The good news was that, being a "Spare the Air" day here in the Bay Area, the ferry rides were free. Yay!
The bad news was that, being a "Spare the Air" day with free ferry rides, the tourists, shoppers and day trippers clogged the system and really messed up the commute home.
I arrived the dock at around 5:35 p.m. and the Peralta was *still there* (it's meant to leave at 5:20 p.m.)! Not only that, the queue stretched nearly to The Embarcadero and they had turned people away from the 5:20 run because they were at capacity. Which meant the 5:40 p.m. boat (the Encinal) was also crammed to the gills and we didn't leave the Ferry Building until 6:00 (I couldn't see if anyone was left behind on that run too). It also seemed the poor Encinal was much slower for the extra burden. I hope the Blue and Gold Fleet at least made back some of their money today with the bar takings.
Tomorrow is another "Spare the Air" day and I'm hoping for a freak rain storm to come in so "Spare the Air" is cancelled. I realize now I'm *much* happier paying my $8.00/round trip and being able to relax than being shoehorned in and having a bunch of annoying "hipsters" blow cigarette smoke in my face. (Now before you smokers all jump down my throat...I'm not militantly anti-smoking. I'm just saying that these folks could have been a bit more considerate of their surroundings.)
I'll take my leave now, so I can go do my Rain Dance.
18 June, 2006
It would seem Flock wants to put div tags in my blog posts, thereby throwing my styles. I like my styles and I'd like to add my own tags if/as I need them. The frustrating thing is, this isn't something that turns up in the source tab so I can head it off, either. And I haven't found a way to shut off auto html tagging yet, either.
17 June, 2006
She's all that!
Originally uploaded by Planet Vicster.
It didn't start off too promising. I was in a benadryl-induced sleep and Simon thought it would be really cool to get up at 4:30a.m. The fact that I did not share his enthusiasm did not deter him. Finally, around 7:00a.m. I have a vague recollection of dumping kibble in the cats' dishes and telling Simon to fuck off (benadryl and sleep deprivation make me sooooooo bitchy). I grabbed Billie's dish and brought her to the bedroom so she could eat--and I could sleep--in peace.
After a couple of hours, I got up, showered and dressed and headed over to meet some of the fine East Bay Flickr folks at the 40th Annual Alameda Sand Castle Contest. Gwen, Chad and D'Arby crafted the beautiful turtle (pictured above), along with her hatchlings. Despite the spontaneous chant of "Turtle! Turtle!" from the crowd, the judges would not be swayed and the turtle did not win a prize (though she and the babies certainly had the popular vote). It was a great afternoon hanging around new friends, running into "old" friends, and making more new friends (and getting probably a bit too much sun).
Then, I come home and log into Flickr to find a wonderful testimonial from my friend Melissa! Such a great surprise! Another welcome surprise was the US Soccer team drawing with the Italians, so they still have a shot at advancing at the World Cup (yay!).
And now, a nice evening spent watching an old favourite film and hanging with the furkids (Simon forgave me for telling him to fuck off after I shared a couple of tortilla chips with him).
"You're sad enough. You're beautiful. Let's have sex!"
I LOVE "Logan's Run"! Michael York's rather Shatner-esque over-acting (and Farrah Fawcett-Majors, who couldn't act at all), Jenny Agutter (the object of all my guy-friends' dreams), a story that has more holes than swiss cheese (seriously, how does Logan get to be a Sandman when he was a worse shot than Dick Cheney), and, of course, a great pick-up line! I remember how impressive the special effects were thirty (!!!) years ago, though now they are just so charmingly quaint.
It's a fun way to spend an hour and a half!
12 June, 2006
Following the death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, there is just one thing I cannot understand.
The US Military FRAMED THE PHOTO OF HIS CORPSE!
OK, I'm a photographer, so I understand needing to mount a print that large on foam core or some kind of backing board. But why in the world would they FRAME this photo? It makes no sense! Is Rummy planning to hang this up over his fireplace?
04 June, 2006
Though I've rather slipped in my yoga and meditation practice in recent weeks, I voraciously consume the articles that come to me in my "Daily Insight" messages from Yoga Journal. This morning, there was a link to this article about disappointment.
Last week was a real Crap Fest, emotionally. The full realization that this person that I believed was my friend really isn't my friend was a real kick to the gut. It's not much of a friendship when I find myself questioning my sanity: I allowed myself to believe that I must have been completely delusional to think this person would even want to be my friend when I wasn't "cool" or "hip" or as "intelligent" or "beautiful" as this person's other friends. And I beat myself up for being so "pathetic" as to try to keep in contact with this person, when the response is silence.
(Reading those last two sentences, I suddenly wondered, "What are these labels? What does it really MEAN to be 'cool' or 'hip' or 'intelligent' or 'beautiful'...or 'pathetic'?" I may be none of these things or I may be *all* of these things. But I can't seem to quantify them, and suddenly they've become UTTERLY MEANINGLESS!)
At any rate, last week is over. It's in the past. The important concept in the article is staying in the present. Don't keep bringing back past disappointment or hurt so that it keeps being relived as if it is happening over and over again. Also important is to not bring the fear of a disappointment--in other words, a disappointment that hasn't even happened--into the present moment.
I recognize these as habits I've nurtured throughout my life (sadly, I had great models for this behavior in my mother and grandfather). But I also recognize this other "thing", this new habit, taking shape in my core. I've been working hard to resurface quickly from this disappointment. I've been reminding myself of what I do have: my health, my creativity, friends who DO love me and are there for me, my cats who always know just when to nuzzle me or bring me a toy to play with, and my education--both academic and spiritual. That's just the short-list. I am SO MUCH MORE than the "loss" that caused me to suffer.
I frequently hear people talk about how they're shaped by their past experiences (something I'm sure I've said, too). But, really, we're shaped by how we *respond* to these experiences, not the experiences themselves. I'm trying to ask "why?" less frequently, but instead ask myself how I can best integrate the experience (and the lessons it contains) into my life.
Which comes back to the cornerstone of the article: The present moment is really all we have, that NO ONE can take from us. Isn't it really better to honor it by living it, than to dishonor it by churning over past injury? I'm suddenly not so willing to hand over something as precious as my present moment to the past (or a fear of what may be)--to something that does not exist.
LISTENING: Wildflowers from the album "Wildflowers" by Tom Petty