08 April, 2007
Simon Sunday: About Miss Billie
Day Thirty
Originally uploaded by Planet Vicster.
My four-day weekend was full of promise: Relaxation, a long-overdue trip to Golden Gate Park, and getting some other stuff done that I haven't been able to get to. But, first, Miss Billie needed to visit the V-E-T for her yearly rabies S-H-O-T. I had decided to put off the exam until next payday, so this trip would be a five-minute, get-in-get-shot-get-out and then I'd drop her off at home, make sure she was okay, then head over the bridge and be in the Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park by noon.
I believe it's Anne Lamott who said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans." The vet tech took Billie in back to get her shot, but came out a minute later, telling me that Billie has lost 3/4 of a pound since last year and did I have time for an exam today. OK, 3/4 of a pound doesn't seem like much and if it were me, I'd rejoice, if it were Simon, that would be okay, too. But this is Billie, who only weighed a little over 6 lbs at her last check-up. Now, she's 5 lbs. 10 oz. and that is cause for alarm. Yet, Billie didn't seem like she had anything wrong with her (other than her back legs, which have always been a little wobbly). I thought of just waiting until payday, but then figured I'd be stressing over this and hovering over Billie for the next ten days, so I decided to go ahead with the exam.
The vet tech came in and asked the standard questions about appetite, litter box, activity, etc. Then Dr. Wydner came in and looked Billie over. Her teeth looked great, so a dental problem was ruled out. The doctor couldn't feel anything odd or out of place. Which would be good news, except it didn't explain that much weight loss. So I reluctantly went ahead with the blood panel and urine analysis. My reluctance was because 1) it's not a very pleasant thing for Billie to go through, being poked and having fluids drawn, and 2) this was now becoming a very expensive visit.
Dr. Wydner took Billie in the back for the blood and urine samples and I went out front. She brought Billie out a few minutes later saying she would call me on Friday with the results. So, a five-minute, $20 shot visit turned into an hour-long, $280 ordeal, and we'd still have to wait 24 hours to see if there was anything systemically wrong!
I brought Billie home and let her out of the kitty carrier. Simon took the opportunity to act like a complete asshole the entire day. He hissed and growled (though his growling sounds ridiculous and not very threatening at all) at Billie AND me all day long. Billie was pissed off at me because I had allowed her privacy to be violated most egregiously, so SHE was hissing at me. I thought about canceling my trip to Golden Gate Park, but I had broken that date with myself so many times, and, given the amount of stress I've been dealing with lately (not just cat-related but a lot of work stress too), I decided to leave the furkids to hiss at each other and go sit with Buddha.
I'm very glad I did that. On the way in and through San Francisco, my mind was screaming with "What if Billie has_____?" I was fighting tears and trying to remember to breathe. I parked my car where I always used to and headed into the Japanese Tea Garden. It took only a few minutes of being surrounded by cherry blossoms and seeing Buddha's calm smile before my breathing became less laboured and my mind more clear. I could hear my own voice giving me the advice that I had given so many friends who had faced a health crisis with their own furkids. No matter what the outcome of the tests were, I would simply love Billie. That would be my guide.
By the time I got home Simon and Billie were hissing at each other a little less. Billie ate her supper and didn't seem to show any discomfort from her rabies shot, which was good. Whenever I felt myself starting to worry over whether the tests would show her kidneys shutting down, or feline leukemia or anything catastrophic, I'd simply look at Billie and see a happy girl who, if she was sick, had no idea of it.
"Happy Girl"...that phrase started turning through my mind. As I have noted here before, Billie has become much more comfortable and self-assured here. She's begun to participate more in the activity around the apartment, trying interactive play with me and once in a while having a case of Cat Crazies. I realized that getting her to eat her food at mealtimes had become less of an ordeal, too. In fact, over the last several weeks, she'd occasionally ask for MORE food after she had finished her meals! Now, with Simon, those requests have always been denied because he tends toward the husky side and I realized that I usually didn't give Billie more food because, subconsciously, I was comparing her to SIMON, instead of comparing Billie to, well, Billie. "Can the answer be THAT simple?" I wondered. I made note of it to bring up with Dr. Wydner.
Friday morning, I made Billie a promise: No matter what the results of the tests were, I would NOT subject her to any more poking, prodding, or feeling-up today because she had had more than enough yesterday. Around lunch time, Dr. Wydner phoned. Her urine sample and blood panel came back all normal. Kidneys are fine. No feline leukemia or feline HIV, by all indications she's as healthy as can be. I mentioned the increased activity and maybe I should just give Billie more food and Dr. Wydner thought that would be a good idea. She even said that Billie doesn't look like a sick cat or act like a sick cat. So, we decided that I'd increase the amount of kibble and see if we can't get some weight back on her. Dr. Wydner said that any time I wanted to have Billie's weight checked to just bring her by. We agreed that, if she doesn't gain some weight back in the next several weeks, we'll look into having an x-ray done.
So far, I've started adding about 1/3 scoop of Simon's Prescription Diet i/d to Billie's regular Science Diet Hairball formula and she's eating it. I may transition her onto one of the organic kibble formulas, though. But she continues to be reasonably active and chatty and...healthy. I decided to stop worrying about how I'm going to pay for an x-ray because as far as Billie's concerned, she doesn't need it. Every animal that I've had the privilege of caring for has always let me know when he or she needed extra care so I'm going to take the energy I'd waste on worrying and use it to just simply be present with Billie and Simon.
That's all they really ever ask of me, anyway.
Labels: Billie, furkids, grace, Simon Sunday
~~ victoria on 10:24 AM ~~ 0 comments
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