Evidently, there is some sort of Ferry Boarding Etiquette that I have yet to grasp. I've been reprimanded or given the hairy eyeball by ferry crew for trying to board (or disembark) before they gave whatever high-sign it is they give that it's okay to pass. So lately I tend to just wait until a crew member specifically says it's okay to come or go.

So this evening, having just missed the 5:20 boat, I get my book out of my pack and start reading. The Harbor Bay ferry pulls up and the very nice crew member (who looks quite like Prince William, but a bit older and with darker hair) lets the Harbor Bay people disembark and board as appropriate. I notice that the 5:45 Oakland/Alameda ferry is pulling in but go back to reading my book (because, you know, I MUST wait until a crew member says it's Okay to board). These two women behind me suddenly spit at me, "Are you ready to get on the boat?"

"Oh, I'm waiting for the Alameda/Oakland ferry." I smiled. Evidently that was EXACTLY the wrong thing to say. The woman with chemically-auburn hair (recently touched-up) and a brand-spanking new Cirque de Soleil denim jacket shot death rays at me through her sunglasses. "It's RIGHT THERE," she hissed, pointing at the Blue and Gold Fleet ferry pulling in.

"I see that it's almost here, but the boat isn't docked yet." I noted, clearly not understanding that if the boat is in visual range, WE MUST CHARGE THE GATES!

"BUT IT'S COMING!" Chemically-Auburn's companion shrieked (it still hadn't docked, but that wasn't the point, was it?). With a dismissive wave of their hands, they pushed by me and headed toward the gate, only to have Prince William put his hand up and ask them to please wait.

I looked up from my book as they came back to the line (I'll note here that they got back in line but cut in front of me). "Yeahhhh," I sighed. "That's kinda why I held off heading down the gangway." That was ALSO the wrong thing to say.

"Well," Chemically-Auburn shot back, "We've NEVER had that happen!" she gathered another breath to have another go at me, but I had had enough.

"Well OK," I smiled. "You know, I'm just gonna go back to enjoying my book. I have enough fuss to my day; I ride the ferry to escape the fussing." Thank GOD that shut them up because by 5:00 p.m. I'm usually primed to do physical harm to people who get up in my grill.

A few moments later, Prince William waved over at us and said it was okay to head down (for the record the ferry STILL hadn't docked). As I passed through the gate, Prince William gave me a sympathetic smile, looked at the two women who had just rushed the gate, and shook his head.

Once on board, they beelined for the bar. I'm glad I wasn't craving a merlot because I couldn't get away from them fast enough. And part of me not-so-secretly hopes Chemically-Auburn's new denim jacket left faded indigo all over her blouse.


NOW GROOVIN' TO: Earthquakes from the album "Thornhill" by Moxy Früvous