Well, I set out originally to get either an iPod or a photo/film scanner. I was in the Apple Store and various other computer/electronics stores fondling the toys...yet I couldn't bring myself to take them to the check-out.

Then...this! The colour I got isn't in the config because this particular combo is rare. It's a rather low-key (for me) dark gun metal grey with a silver bottom section. I looked at this year's red version and I didn't like it as well as last year's red (which is gorgeous!). Besides, there aren't many of these particular cars out there (yet), so it'll stand out enough without being one of the wowwie-zowwie colours. I want to be able to find it in the parking lot, but not have it draw too much attention from the traffic cops, ifyaknowwhatImean.

Right now, there's part of me wondering if I've just done Something Really Stupid, then another part that reminds me that I ran the numbers and while the car payment is just a bit outside the comfort zone(*), there is enough and there will be enough and I CAN do this. (* The comfort zone is actually NO car payment...since I haven't had a car payment for about 12-13 years!)

As for the old car, well at 18 years old, it's pretty much done. It's due for the smog check this year and it's of an age where it gets shunted off to the "special" smog check station. I'm pretty certain that it would have cost me about the equivalent of the down payment on the new car to just get the old one to pass the smog test! Plus it needs some work on the engine and some other stuff. It runs fine and it's got only just a bit over 79,000 miles on it...it's just old.

And...well, look at the first paragraph. I know me well enough to know that, sure I'm putting money in the savings account, but I'd be spending the equivalent of a car payment every month on these silly little trinkets. At least, the car payment is going towards something useful...after all, I can't drive an iPod!

So, here I am at 1:00 a.m.--wait, hang on, it's actually nearly 2:00 a.m.--with competing factions battling it out in my head. The part that keeps saying, "wait! What if A) happens or B) happens! Then What?!?" and the other part that counters with, "Look at the times you didn't buy the Subaru because you were afraid Something Bad would happen: Both times, you ended up losing your job (and you got through it!), so don't worry that Something Bad will happen just because you've bought yourself a new car!" (For the record, I've been wanting to own a Subaru for over 25 years and I've been test driving them--but not buying--for 10 years.)

Is this the product of a fit of madness? Might be. Might be, indeed. Or, maybe, it's a step toward being the chick who takes chances. I always liked that chick, because she'd kick life in the ass (just to show it she's in control), then give it a peck on the cheek because she loves it so much.

So, here's to that first step in living life a bit more fearlessly!

But, first, I really should try to get some sleep!