I'm afraid I may have to stage an intervention and get Simon some help.

First, I caught him trying to nab my cell phone out of my bag. Then, he got into my "pocket change" and nabbed four dollars (in bills).

I think he was planning to hook up with his catnip dealer for a fix.

Does Betty Ford have a wing for cats hooked on the 'nip? Does his pet health insurance cover catnip dependency/recovery?